Your mother is worried about you. She asks if you're eating well enough, and when you don't give a satisfying answer, she puts another bowl of tonkatsu in front of you, and she won't leave your side until you've finished it. She asks if you're sleeping well enough. But of course, kaa-san, you answer, and avoid her scrutinizing eyes. Instead, you show her your radiating smile, and you launch in this enthusiastic monologue about how things are going at school (that new teacher is a nice guy, lots of homework though), and how nice the weather is, etcetera, etcetera..
Your grandfather is worried about you. He asks if you're taking enough time to relax and wind down from the busy day. What busy day, jii-chan? You smile at him. Yeah, school and helping out at the GameShop might be busy, but it's nothing you can't handle. You're strong and healthy, what kind of person would you be to leave all the heavy lifting to your own grandfather? Sorting through hundreds of Duel Monsters booster packs is a little boring yes, but the shop's stock needs to be up-to-date, right?
Your friends are worried about you. They ask if you're comfortable enough, and when you look at them a little quizzically, they clear their throats and give all these explanations, like "We don't see you enough" or "You look tired" and more of that weird stuff. No worries, everything's fine, minna-san, you tell them, and thank them for their concern. Yes, it's been a while since the entire gang went to Burger World, or simply hung out at the mall. But you have to study, you have to help out your grandfather, it's just a busy time, you know?
But in the end, you discard their worries. Sure, you appreciate your friends looking out for you, but it's not really necessary. You've already got what you want: undivided love and attention, warmth and care. A touch, a smile, a voice, so close to you that you can wrap yourself into it, and feel completely at ease. It's all in your head, though - and that's where the problem lies.
You're not fine. You're not doing fine at all. You ignore the dark circles under your eyes, you ignore your stomach screaming for food, you ignore the worries around you. You eat, sleep, breathe enough, or so you think, but then again, your thoughts aren't really with food or sleep, are they? They're with him, and how he waits for you, patiently, to join him and to be with him. It's an agonizing wait, but it's worth it, you just know it's worth it in the end.
And you realise, maybe one day, that just waiting isn't enough.
It's not enough at all.