The last thing he expected to feel, was warm rays of light on his cheek. Heero grunted, unable to process what had happened. His body weighed a ton; he tried to move his limbs one by one. To his relief, he noticed that he could get up, first on all fours, then he straightened himself.
Where was the light coming from? He blinked. A stained glass window was hovering in mid-air, depicting a biblical tale. The colors were vibrant and lively, and shone with a light that was comfortable and warm to the eyes. It didn't light his surroundings, and when he took a step forward, he hit his knee against solid wood. Heero hissed in pain, yet he welcomed it: pain meant that he was still alive.
Alive, yes, but where was he? Another stained glass window, further to his right. The wooden object in front of him was a pew. He was in a church.
"What the..?" His voice echoed so loud that it startled him. Heero looked left and right, in the hope to see someone, but he was alone.
Alone in an empty church. How..? He remembered the abyss. He remembered Shinigami and Wufei diving into the abyss, but he didn't recall that he had actually jumped himself. How had he ended up here?
A sound to his left grabbed his attention. A door opened and was closed again. Someone had entered the church. He turned towards the door. Someone was definitely there!
"Hey!" He called out. "Hey!"
The person who had entered the church stood still for a moment. Nothing happened until the noise of soft footsteps reached his ears. The stranger was approaching him, and instinctively Heero reached for his weapon, for Shenlong, but it wasn't there. Cold sweat appeared on his brow, and his stomach turned itself into knots.
"A visitor," a pleasant female voice washed over him. "We don't get many visitors here."
She appeared in front of him, shone upon by the light from the stained glass window. Heero wanted to laugh hysterically. He'd been about to fight a nun. A nun in a church.
"Forgive me," he said. His voice croaked.
"You are on holy ground," the nun answered. "Every sin you have been guilty of has been forgiven. You must be Heero Yuy. Duo told me a lot about you. Welcome, Heero."
"How do you know?"
Her warm, motherly face took away every suspicion he had. Holy ground. There was a place in this forsaken otherworld that was safe after all.
"My name is Sister Helen," she said. Heero's eyes widened. Duo had mentioned a Sister Helen once. As if she could read his mind, she continued: "I'm sure Duo hasn't told you much about me, unfortunately. He's so clammed up, the poor kid. Would you like to see him?"
"Yes!" Heero all but yelled, his heart jumping with joy. Duo was here! And he could see him!
"I thought you would." Her friendly smile put Heero at ease.
A small voice in the back of his mind told him to be careful, that dark entities were masters of manipulation, but this woman, this kind nun, no demon would ever think of pretending to be her, right? No dark entity could mimic this kindness, so much like Duo's.
Heero followed Sister Helen to the door she had entered through; as soon as she opened it, a friendly sun greeted him.
Outside, Heero found himself in a large yard with huge trees, providing the necessary shadow. The large leaves moved with the gentle wind; birds perched on the branches, whistling and singing, a picture perfect. No cold here, no danger here, it was like basking in constant delight and harmony. He heard children's voices, which brought him immediately back to his senses. Not only adults died. He swallowed.
"Don't be afraid, just go see him." He had forgotten about Sister Helen and she startled him.
"Where?"
"He's right there." The nun pointed at the large chestnut tree in the middle of the yard. Her smile didn't waver, didn't change, and when Heero didn't move, she started to walk.
"Duo! Duo, Heero's here!"
"Yay!" A child slipped from the wooden bench under the tree and ran towards him as fast as his short legs could, long chestnut strands flying behind him.
"I taught you how to braid it, Duo." The nun came to stand behind him and started braiding his hair, humming a nondescript tune to herself. The child looked up with strikingly familiar violet eyes and beamed at Heero.
"I knew you'd find me! Here I am!"
"I…" Heero didn't know what to say. Duo's bright smile faltered a little, and he hurried to say "Of course I'd find you. You know me!"
"I know you!" Duo grabbed Heero's hand and started pulling at him, just after Sister Helen had finished braiding his hair. She raised her voice to tell him to keep it neatly into the braid, but he didn't pay attention to her and pulled Heero with him, back to the chestnut tree.
"Duo, what's going on?" With the sister out of sight, he didn't feel weird or awkward asking what he wanted to know. The child hopped on the bench, his small legs faster than Heero could help him. There were other kids on the bench, some of them crying, some of them huddled together. No one paid attention to Heero, but when Duo got on the bench, they all looked at him, expectantly.
"I have so many friends here," Duo said. "I'm going to be busy for a while, Heero. Why don't you find the God of Death while I stay here?"
"But I just found you," Heero said, flabbergasted. One of the children started crying, probably because Duo mentioned 'death'. Duo, small as he was, reached for the child to take it into his arms, comforting and soothing.
"I can't go there," kid-Duo answered in a mature, strong voice. A flicker of his armor shone through the dark clothes he was wearing. Heero didn't understand.
"I want my mother." The child in Duo's lap started crying. "I want to go home."
This was a part that Heero could understand. This was the part of Duo as the spirit hunter, who helped the lost souls of deceased children to move on. Only now did Heero see the doors behind the large chestnut tree, and another cold, strong jolt of pain went through his heart.
"The doors make no difference to you, Heero." Sister Helen was standing next to him, moving just as silent as Duo. "You can take whichever you want. You'll be outside. You have to be strong."
"Who are you?" he whispered.
"My name is Sister Helen," she answered with a smile.
"You're dead."
"Yes."
"How… how did Duo die?" It sounded like his vocal cords were pulled out of his throat forcefully.
She didn't answer right away, staring at the children on the bench. The child in Duo's lap was nodding now with understanding, rubbing away the tears on its cheeks.
"It was a terrorist attack on the church," she finally said. "Nobody knows who started it, and nobody knows who's responsible for it. I haven't asked myself either; I'm here to forgive, not to judge or to execute. Those tasks are for others."
"Wufei… Is he dead too?"
"No, the Judge has to be alive. The Executioner has to be dead."
"God!"
"There's no God," Sister Helen answered. She tilted her head at Heero. "At least, not here. He's out there somewhere. The children will find Him, those who are turned into His care."
"But as the Executioner…"
"No child will be executed," Sister Helen cut him short. "This is the part of Duo that stayed the same. This part of his soul hasn't grown a day older since the attack. Neither have I. We take care of the children here, Heero. This church was… is Duo's safe haven. Here is where he helps the children to cross over."
"I figured as such."
"I know. This isn't the right place for you, Heero. You have to hurry. Every minute, every moment you spend in this world is draining on you, weakening you. Soon, he'll find you, and then there's no turning back."
"Who'll find me? Duo?"
"No. You have to go now, Heero Yuy. Find Shinigami. Find Chang Wufei. Together you're strong enough. What is out there…" She tilted her head slightly, as if nodding towards the doors, "…is very strong, and you'll soon find out why. Be careful, and be strong."
"I understand," Heero said. This was the only way he could help Duo, and he was fully prepared to face any demon. Looking over his shoulder, he cast one more look at the children under the tree, faces happy and exuberant again. Taking a deep breath, Heero chose the door in the middle and stepped through it.
"You simply couldn't listen, could you?" A voice, almost like Duo's, but not really. Heero released the breath he was holding. He was standing on solid ground, with the ruins of a building, clawing like dead fingers into the air, not far away from him. The stone was blackened beyond black, and crosses, bent and broken, stuck out from the ground. A graveyard. He turned his head towards the one who had spoken.
"Who are you?"
He was sitting on the remnants of the east wall of the ruined building, broken glass at his feet, clad in oversized dark brown and grey clothes. His hair was the same chestnut brown as Duo's, but his was short and unkempt and his face didn't show the same kind of generosity or kindness as Duo did.
"I thought you were smarter than that." He jumped off of the wall, his boots crushing the glass underneath his feet. He dusted himself off, using the same swagger in his walk like Duo. "Who are you?" Heero repeated.
"I gave you a simple and fair warning." The other balled his fists and made a gesture as if he was throwing a punch. "Not many have the pleasure to see me in person. Neither did you; it all happened so fast, didn't it?"
"You… You were the one in my apartment!"
"Yes, I was. I loved your book collection by the way, but I can't take anything with me from the real world to the underworld. Sorry about the mess." He said it with such arrogance that Heero balled his fists, driving his nails into his flesh.
"Who…are…you?"
"Solo Maxwell, pleased to meet you. And before you ask it: yes, I'm dead too. Isn't that a nice and convenient coincidence?"
"You… You are Duo's brother?" His brain refused to cooperate. The pressure and strain of the otherworld was exhausting Heero, and he forced himself to stay calm and think rationally.
"Yes, I am." Solo crossed his arms and adopted a casual, relaxed stance. "I'm the brother of the Executioner. He has a really responsible task, you know. The Judge's task is a lot easier, if you ask me. He only has to judge. Duo is the one who Executes."
"Why is that so important?" Heero asked.
"I'm just trying to help you understand. Ask yourself what will happen when any dark entity doesn't get executed anymore. No dark entity being sentenced or banned to Nothing."
"They would continue to linger on and fester."
"Very good. And have you ever wondered how much energy dark entities can provide for? All that delicious hatred and joyful anger together?"
"What do you mean?"
"Some people find themselves at home here." Solo made a dismissive gesture. "Duo told you a lot about this world, but he failed to tell you much about himself, didn't he? Such a shame, Heero. I'm sure you'd appreciate the truth."
"It's up to Duo to tell me," Heero said, defensive of his lover. "What are you?"
"You're getting close." Solo looked excited.
"You're not a gwynnfyr, you're not a hyn-davilyn, you're not a boss…" Heero's breathing choked as the realization hit him. "You're the master boss."
"I knew it!" Solo threw his head back and he laughed. "This time my little brother got himself an intelligent boyfriend. Amazing!"
"I want to know everything," Heero said. "Tell me!"
"Better yet," Solo lifted up his finger, "I'll show you."
The two children in the yard were obviously brothers. Playing together, laughing like young children do, it was hard to keep them apart except for the difference in hair length; one boy wore it short, the other long. Their clothes were worn and torn at the knees and elbows, signs of many hours playing outside, in the large yard with the chestnut tree. Other children were present, but they were vague with faces and clothes hard to discern. The two brothers were totally engrossed in each other and their game. A woman walked past them, dressed in black with a white cap and a small, silver crucifix on her chest. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes that had motherly warmth to them… yet a hint of worry.
"Hello, Sister Helen," the boy with the long hair greeted her, and his brother took the advantage of his distraction by swiping his toy and hiding it behind his back. "Meanie!"
Neither one of the boys was mad, and they tumbled around, laughing and giggling, without a care in the world. Sister Helen looked at the sky, tilting her head. The children never noticed the sound of roaring engines. They never noticed the sound of missiles being launched at their target.
When the entire yard exploded in fire, it was too late.
"I'll show you."
The pain was unbearable. He stared at the sky, the perfect blue sky, and he couldn't breathe. His chest was heaving, his lungs were on fire, and there wasn't a single breath left for him to draw.
Tears ran down his cheeks. It burned… it burned so badly, the pain… He couldn't feel his legs. He couldn't feel his arms. He couldn't feel a thing, only the desperate need to breathe.
A shadow fell over him, a dark shadow with prying eyes, searching him, his body, his mind, his soul. "You're too far gone," the dark shadow spoke. "I can't use you." He heard his brother scream, yelling his name, yelling Sister Helen's name. "Maybe I can use him."
"You stay away from him," he said, but he didn't use his voice. There was no breath left to speak. There was nothing left. He was dying. All he could hear was panic around him, yelling, screaming, crying. His brother seemed to be all right, judging from the volume of his voice. The dark shadow loomed over him, showing a horrifying, arrogant grin. "It all depends on his answer," it said and it was gone.
"I'll show you."
Heero stared at the other. The images were gone, like a movie being played in his head, and the pain, the horror, it had all been so real. The stench of burnt human flesh still lingered in his nose, and Heero noticed he was checking his body quickly for wounds, for burns, for missing limbs…
"How..?"
"I'll show you" was all that Solo said.
A hand on his shoulder. He couldn't move his head, but he saw his brother's teary-eyed face hovering, blood on his cheeks. "Are you…?" He hissed. The dark shadow loomed over his brother, and whatever breath was left in him started to slip away. "No…"
"I have no choice," his brother cried. "She's gone, Sister Helen… Father's gone... the children… I don't know what to do, Solo."
"It's our time," he tried to say, but he saw the last of his breath flowing away from him, fragile as a butterfly, fluttering in the perfect blue sky. The last thing he saw was the tear-stricken, bloody face of Duo Maxwell. His panicked, scared and lost face. He was so young, and Death was so old.
"He chose to become the Executioner to save you," Heero said. Solo shrugged, but he had his head turned, not showing Heero his expression. "To save his only family."
"Blah blah blah." Harshly, Solo crossed his arms in front of his chest again. "Yeah, you understand now. Such a tragedy, ain't it? The church blown to smithereens, so many children killed. People thought it was a disgrace, yet no one knows to this day who or what was behind the attack. Maybe Death orchestrated it all himself. Whatever. I'm stuck here, and Duo got to get out."
"You're kidding me." Heero took a step towards Solo, and stood still when he saw the blazing anger in the other's eyes. "Duo sacrificed his life for you. He willingly became the Executioner, to save you."
"You don't get it. He saved me but from what? I don't have a life! I don't have a life, Heero! I'm stuck here forever, in an eternal, perpetual illusion of perfection, in a church that doesn't exist anymore, with people who don't exist anymore!"
"What about Sister Helen?"
"She's not real. The church's not real. Why else do you think that only the children get to leave through one of the three doors? They are symbolic for the afterlife that awaits them. I've died. My soul's tied to Duo's, and because he ended up being the Executioner, I got stuck in this limbo. I can't move on. I can't be Judged. I can't be Executed. And I can't live!"
It started to dawn to Heero, the full and vast meaning of Solo's words. Like a puzzle with still a few pieces missing, it started to add up, showing the cruel truth piece by piece.
"You're the one organizing all the dark entities. You're using all their anger and hatred to breach the border between the otherworld and the real world… because you want to live."
"See, it's not that hard to figure out. You're a lawyer, right? You got it all figured out in… what, five minutes? Too bad it took Duo an entire lifetime to get the picture."
"He loves you," Heero said. Duo had never mentioned a brother, he had never mentioned Solo for as long as Heero knew him, but he knew Duo well enough to not harbor any hatred. "He was just a kid! He made a deal with the devil - Death, whoever or whatever that dark shadow was - to save the person he loved most. You can't blame him."
"Oh, I'm not blaming him at all." Solo had taken his casual stance again. "Do you hear me saying that he's in the wrong, that he should've treated me better, that he left me behind or more of that stupid crap? Oh no, oh no, no no no. I tried to warn him to stay out of my business, even. I punched you in the face, what a delightful touch with the real world that was. I didn't have enough energy to manifest myself, but a part of me managed to get through to the real world to search you out. I send a few friends out to attach themselves to some poor souls, like a scouting mission."
"Barton and Khushrenada," Heero said. He felt a hint of relief that Quatre had never been a victim of any boss parasiting on him. The businessman hadn't been the target, but merely a pawn if this… creature had been able to corrupt him.
Solo threw his head back and laughed out loud. "Khushrenada was easy. He all but invited me, him and his decadent friends playing around with an Ouija-board. Those are the kind of people we like best." Solo licked his lips. "As for Barton, he was a lot more difficult. I really had to dig to get through to him. You know he's an orphan, just like you? Only he didn't have a nice adoptive father to bring him to school and to help him with his homework and to tuck him into bed at night."
"You're an asshole," Heero spat at him. Solo smiled.
"I love orphans. They've got just the right touch to manipulate them. No matter how much they deny it, there's always this little-" he held up his fingers, thumb and index finger a few millimeters apart, "patch of anger about being abandoned inside of them. Like I said, I had to dig really deep to get through to him, but Ky-loon-aung delivered nice work."
"You can't be Duo's brother," Heero snarled. "A selfish, egotistical asshole like you could never be Duo's brother!"
The next moment, he was on his knees, clutching at his chest. It was so hard to breathe that he wheezed, and the weight on his shoulders was massive, pressing him down onto the cold, hard ground. Solo's boots were in front of him; Heero flinched, expecting to be kicked in the face.
"I'm sure my little brother told you about the negativity in this world and how we prey upon it," Solo said, his voice soft and suave like a lover. "He also told you, probably, how a soul could be corrupted. Don't worry: I'm not going to corrupt you. One of my bosses tried before and failed."
Heero gritted his teeth. The negativity was so overwhelming, the anger inside him rushed through his body, setting his entire soul on fire. He couldn't allow this to happen. He had come down here with a mission, to save Duo!
"What are you going to do?" He managed to croak out.
"Me? I'm going to gather my entities and create the greatest rift either world has ever seen," Solo said. "Then I'm crossing over. I already have the body I want to use. I'll take back my life. I'll grow up to be an adult instead of lingering around here. Whatever happens to both worlds…Well, it wouldn't be too presumptuous to tell you that I don't give a fuck, would it?"
"Fuck you," Heero hissed and his face was pressed to the ground.
Hate you so much. Relena gave me a job out of pity. My mother abandoned me. She never bothered to take care of me. I've never known my real father. Odin Lowe died when I needed him the most. Fuck! Fuck them all!
His nails went over the cold ground like over a chalkboard. He felt them split, and blood welled up; warm blood, only to cool off immediately, left sinister dark reddish trails on the grey stone. He could hear laughing - it was Solo laughing, he was sure of it - and he balled his fist, slamming it into the ground. Not even the pain brought him any relief. Where the hell was Wufei? Where was Shinigami? Why was no one around to save him?
"They can't help you," a voice whispered to him, a very familiar voice, "not yet. You have to help yourself first, Heero."
"Duo!" Heero got up so fast that it dizzied him; but right in front of him was Duo - or what was left of him. He was completely see-through, his body transparent, safe for a few outlines and some chestnut strands framing his face.
"I love your enthusiasm," Duo said. "Do you notice how easier it is to move when you don't allow the hatred and negativity to get to you?"
"I understand," Heero said. "I know! But it's so hard…"
"You have to stop him, Heero." Duo paled even further. "I can't go with you. My body is in the real world, and when I'm not corporeal in the otherworld, my powers are limited. This is exhausting as it is. Solo can't be allowed to create a rift to step into the real world. Dead people can't walk the Earth."
"I don't know what to do." Heero shook his head. "Please help me, Duo."
"I can't. I can't help you or Solo." His hand went through Heero's hair, like a summer breeze. It was the only gust of wind Heero had felt ever since entering the otherworld. "Isn't it ironic, my love, that of all the souls I helped to cross over to their final destination, I couldn't help my own brother? That the one I wanted to protect most, got corrupted and developed himself into a dark entity, playing parasite on others?"
"You had no choice, Duo. You were young…"
"I had a choice." His voice was carried by the wind. "I could've let him die, and I should've died along with him."
"No! NO!"
"All he wants is to live," a last whisper and Duo was gone. "Please let him live, Heero."
The chill in his heart had nothing to do with the extremely low temperatures of the otherworld. There was barely light around him, and Heero needed a few minutes to orientate himself. He felt the weight on his shoulders again but not as heavy as before.
Thinking about Duo and saving him forced the darkness and negativity at bay, which was a relief; it saved his energy and he could think faster and more coherent again.
Think Yuy, think. Solo wanted to live. In order to live, he wanted to open a rift to the real world, to Earth, and he wasn't particularly concerned about the consequences. Darkness would overwhelm the planet, leaving it to be roamed by dark entities that had enough humans to play parasite on. It was going to be hell on Earth.
Heero ignored his surroundings. The graveyard and the ruins didn't bother him; instead he focused on finding a solution. All he wants is to live. Solo didn't have a body. He died a child; what Heero had seen was a manifestation of Solo's soul, an apparition…It was a dark entity that claimed to be Solo Maxwell. No, it was a manifestation of a dark entity with Solo's corrupted soul attached to it.
Heero's eyes widened. The entire puzzle came together. The pieces clicked so hard in his mind that he could smack himself for not noticing it sooner. Solo had never had the chance to grow up. The part of his soul that was innocent, the part that had never moved on, had to be around somewhere. Duo hadn't been able to help Solo move on, simply because he was his brother. Heero turned around and ran back to the yard.
Entering through one of the doors again, Heero was relieved to tread on safe ground again. The warmth and peacefulness replenished his energy and strengthened his resolve. Determined, he searched around the yard, ignoring the playing kids, Sister Helen and Duo sitting under the chestnut tree for now. In the far, shadowed corner sat another child, huddled, his arms wrapped around his knees. He wasn't crying, but the sadness in his eyes was obvious; eyes that had seen too much, eyes that had known too much. Heero recognized the short, chestnut hair and took a deep breath before he sat down next to Solo.
"Hey there," he said. The child didn't answer. "It's pretty cold here."
"The sun shines."
"But you're sitting in the shadow."
"I don't care." The brash answer was accompanied by a shrug. Solo didn't look at him, and his voice was muffled by the sleeves of his sweater.
"Don't you want to play with the other children?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"They don't like me." Solo pressed his face into his arms, muffling the answer even more, but Heero could understand him perfectly.
"Why don't they like you?"
"Because they know I'm dead," the boy spat at him. He jumped up at his feet faster than Heero expected, but he didn't run away. "I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead!"
"They're afraid," Heero said, keeping his voice as calm as possible. He imagined himself in court, pleading for his client. "Wouldn't you be afraid?"
"What should I be afraid of? I'm dead!"
"Afraid of moving on." Heero got back on his feet as well, slowly. "Afraid to leave this behind."
"They aren't afraid." Solo glared at the children under the tree. "Look at them! Look at Duo; he's laughing with them! Nobody cares! I'm stuck here!"
"Duo loves you," Heero said. "He loves you so much, that he can't help you to move on, Solo. It's too hard for him. You were the only person he had, the only family he ever had… and he was forced to make a decision that he couldn't see the consequences of. He wants to keep you close, in his heart, where you belong."
Solo didn't answer. His anger seemed to have subsided a little, and he brought a hand to his face. He bit on his thumb nail. "Really?"
"You belong with Duo, you know that." Heero didn't dumb down his words. He had the feeling Solo would see through anything he said. "You're not afraid, Solo. You told me that yourself, remember?"
"I'm not afraid," the child agreed and nodded vigorously. Heero reached for him, stretching his hand.
"I can help you move on," he said. "You don't belong in the shadow, Solo. Come with me. I know a place where you'll be happy and loved."
"Where is that?" Solo asked, suspicion in his voice. He ignored Heero's hand.
"Duo's heart."
"What?"
"Come with me." Heero kept his hand in front of Solo, and his own heart made a jump when the child finally put his hand into his.
"I don't know…"
He didn't want to force him. "Why don't we take a look?"
"Okay." Solo's sadness hadn't disappeared yet, but his curiosity was greater than his grief.
Closing his fingers around Solo's smaller hand, Heero took a step forward, adjusting his pace to Solo's. The silence was reverent. They were looking at him, the children and Duo, and on every face were acknowledgment, joy and kindness. Solo was amazed at the pure warmth and friendliness he received; he straightened himself, the corners of his mouth going up instead of tugging down.
"We're almost there," Heero said as they came to stand in front of the three doors. Solo frowned, and his hand almost slipped out of Heero's. "What's wrong?"
"I don't like the doors."
"How come?"
"Everyone who passes through them never returns."
He should've known better. Solo wasn't stupid, the innocent part of his soul was wondering what was going to happen to him. There wasn't much time left; the corrupt part of his soul could rip open the borders between the real world and the other world any moment now. Heero made sure nothing of his own fear and impatience was audible in his voice, when he knelt next to Solo.
"I have told nothing but the truth," he said. "Those who love you, Duo's heart, Sister Helen, they're all behind these doors. It's time to move on, Solo. It's time to leave the shadows and move onto the light. You're dead, but you're going to live forever in our hearts."
"I don't want to," the boy started to cry. Heero used his sleeve to brush the tears away.
"It's okay to be afraid," he said. Solo nodded as he cried and Heero couldn't help ruffling his hair. He was so much like Duo, and he hadn't stood a chance.
"Move on, Solo," he tried to encourage him. The young child took a step forward. The middle door opened. "Move on and live forever."
"Live forever?" The child asked.
"Live forever," Heero nodded, putting his other hand over his heart.
"Thank you," Solo said, tears still on his face, but he was moving forward. The door went open.
Thank you. An ethereal light surrounded Solo's body, the same light that shone from the door. Thank you. The tears disappeared. The smile grew wider. Thank you. Solo dissolved into the light, rapture surrounding him as he finally moved on, the untainted part of his soul returning to where it belonged: the afterlife, to be untouched by any dark entity forever.
The light, the warmth… Heero wanted to bask in it forever, it felt so good and so comfortable, that he started reaching for it…
Chapter 11 | Chapter 13 |