Wait for me, Catherine.
I know I did horrible things. I cheated. I lied. I even tried to kill. I thought his life was worth nothing compared to yours, nothing compared to having you back in my arms again. To feel your arms around me, to hear your sound heartbeat, to caress your hair. I even allowed my mind to be invaded, to be controlled, just for you.
Just wait for me, please.
We had such a good time together. Travelling around the world, performing at the most marvelous theatres. I was the one and only magician for you, and you were everything to me. The way you moved, the way you talked, the way you laughed…
Cheap tricks. I, who used to be a respected magician, used cheap tricks to get you back. I never stopped to think that it was wrong. I never hesitated when offered the chance. I simply submitted, gave it out of my hands, only to get you back.
Wait for me.
You never asked why I called myself Pandora, did you, my love? It was so obvious, so cliché. The box… Pandora’s box. I once hoped to give you a much smaller box, a tiny little box, containing that special ring for your finger. France, we would go to France and start all over again. But I couldn’t see, the bandages were in the way, the world was in the way, and I felt trapped in that box I named myself after.
I was wrong in so many ways. Forgive me, darling. I was trapped, I was enclosed, and when I took off the bandages, you were already gone.
Wait, just wait.
I don’t have any more tricks up my sleeve. I’ve made so many mistakes. I pushed you away, I let you go. I rebuked you, while all you wanted to do was to help me. How could you help me, you, with your perfect face, your perfect body, your perfect skin? My face was gone. I look like a monster.
The explosion wasn’t your fault. I guess it was mine, or maybe it was Murphy’s law; anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I never bothered to investigate the accident; I was too much caught up in my own pain, in my own pity, my own sadness. Little did I see yours, my dear, you who I drove away.
It was just a kid who approached me, clad in some weird dark purple cloak, but I couldn’t care less. He promised me the world - he promised me you.
You know I’d do anything for you, don’t you, Catherine? My dear, my doll, my perfect angel. I never forget how you stood by my side, and I never forget how I yelled at you to leave me be.
Wait.
I was out there in the cold, in the rain, and he promised I could get my sun and my world back. I was going to hold you in my arms again, after I defeated some kid in a duel. I knew the game, having played it myself before; not at tournament level yet, as I was far too busy with my show. Within a few weeks, I had mastered the level and had become known as “The Black Magician user”, fancying the card that reflected me - the magician. The former magician. With my face damaged like this, I had to hide behind a mask; no one would want to see a performer this badly scarred, this ugly…
…but I knew you would. You tried to touch me at the hospital, to comfort me. You were reaching for me, outside of the box. You never cared much for superficial beauty, or for money, my sweetheart… you cared for the heart, you cared for the person underneath the surface, you cared for what was inside.
I didn’t.
I cut the cards so I could cheat when shuffling my deck. I devised strategies to defeat this Yuugi kid who used the Black Magician just like me. I knew his deck, I knew he was going to protect his Black Magician at all costs. I build my deck to strengthen and fortify my Black Magician, and to sacrifice him if possible.
And so I did.
I sacrificed my Black Magician, just as I sacrificed my soul to this youngster who waited for me when I left the hospital. He latched himself onto me, the master controlling the puppet, waving some golden artifact around and the empty promise of being reunited with the one I loved.
It was all empty from the beginning. I should’ve known better, but I was still trapped in my box, the walls holing me in, preventing me from looking outside, from looking up. I could only stare in front of me, at another wall, where your name was written all over it. Catherine. I can’t forget you, I couldn’t forget you. I was only thinking about you. I still am.
Please.
I don’t know when the box collapsed. I don’t know when the walls crumbled. I should’ve taken a better look at my own name. Pandora. Pandora’s Box. After everything that was unleashed from it, only one thing was left behind.
Hope.
I’m going to find you, Catherine. I’m going to hold you in my arms again. I don’t care what it takes. I don’t care if I have to cheat again. I will tell every lie in the whole wide world if that means I can get you back. I will kill everyone in the whole wide world if that means we can be together. I will reduce every population to one single person - you - if that means I can find you that way.
I will sell my soul once again if that means I can finally rest in your arms and hold you dear.
Just wait for me, Catherine. Just wait.
Please.
