The evening had turned cold. Heero pulled his woolen vest closer around him. Esshava Bloom had been truly generous with the new clothing, and not every garment was frilly or inadequate for the weather; this vest was warm and sturdy. All the wool in the world couldn't keep him warm at the moment; Heero wasn't sure if he was feeling cold because of Trowa's words or not. He wondered why the archer had chosen to sit down with him. They had barely interacted before -- had he actually thanked him for killing those bandits when Relena was about to be assaulted? It had served him, however, to learn more about Duo, and the mystery surrounding him. Heero was sure Duo was worth the trouble, but he still wasn't sure what Duo was feeling for him. His mind kept running around in circles, telling him that he shouldn't bother, that Duo had all but rejected him -- but Heero could just be as stubborn, and he wanted to work this out. It wasn't about the dazzling smile, the smooth chestnut hair or the dark, soulful eyes... well, it was about the eyes. Weren't his eyes the first thing that had drawn him in? That, and the burning flames on his robe, the way he had held his staff, the way he had talked?
If anyone would ask him, Heero would deny it. He hadn't forgotten about Relena's words, and if she already saw it, then it would be pretty obvious for everyone else, wouldn't it? Quatre... Quatre had 'felt' it too. Was he really going to admit to himself that he liked Duo more than... more than anyone else? If his heart already knew, why was his mind objecting?
Liking him or not, it would take two people to get a relationship going on -- and the Fire mage had done nothing but to elude him, to hide from him. He had to take matters into his own hands, otherwise Duo would slip through his fingers -- and he was sure that he didn't want that to happen.
Heero walked up the stairs to Duo's room; another thing that Trowa had told him, were that these had been Father Maxwell's quarters. The whole Libra population had insisted that Duo take them -- they saw him as their leader, the one in charge. That's why Khushrenada had wanted to talk to him; as the leader, the representative of the mages' society. Libra was founded by Duo, who had rebuilt the church from its ashes and turned it into this monastery to house other mages and refugees. It was a sanctuary, commemorating the fallen, but encouraging the others to live and to hope.
He knocked, but he didn't receive an answer. He knocked again, but was met by silence -- Heero pushed at the door, wincing from the squeaky sound when it opened. Stepping into the room, quietly, he saw Duo behind his desk, writing in concentration.
The mage must have heard the knocking after all, as he put away the quill, cleaning the excess ink off and placing it back in its holder. He turned around; the look on his face was fairly neutral. A little pensive perhaps, unspoken questions reflecting in his eyes, as he looked up at Heero who stood still in front of him.
"Whatever there is, I want to share it with you."
"Heero, you can't."
Whenever the situation turned serious, Duo seemed to lose his singing Epyon accent. He didn't give it any attention -- it didn't matter where the Fire mage originally hailed from. Backgrounds and origins didn't matter, as long as Duo was with him. He simply didn't want to be separated from him; he wanted to stay with him for as long as possible.
"Yes I can. I'm one of the Five."
Duo's eyes widened in surprise. He looked insecure, and he searched Heero's face for lies, for any evidence of mocking, lips parted in a silent question. Heero put out his hand.
"If I'm really one of the Five, then I want to believe it for you," he said.
"I want you to believe it yourself too," Duo answered. He took Heero's hand, smooth skin meeting calloused skin -- he entangled their fingers together. "The Five of us are all very special, and I'm sure that --"
Heero put a finger to his lips, interrupting the Fire mage.
"Yes, we are special," he said, "and you are very special to me." He didn't care how clich or cheesy it sounded. He was simply telling the truth, and he didn't know how to word it any other way.
Duo chuckled softly, his eyes shifting nervously. "I'm a Death mage, Heero. I told you..."
"You told me enough to know that I don't want to be apart from you."
That was the simple and undeniable truth. Heero hadn't allowed himself much time to think of the foreseeable future, but he was certain of one thing: Duo would be involved somehow. Returning to his homeland and the farm was an option, though Romefeller country didn't only seem literally far away -- he felt like he severed ties with it, subconscious or not, and it didn't hold any importance for him. Duo's touch felt warm, their hands entwined, fingers caressing. Duo himself looked a little quizzically, eyes going down to their hands.
Heero pulled Duo up, not as gallantly as he expected -- he barely knew his own strength. Duo chuckled as he was all but smashed against Heero, wrapping his arm around his waist to keep himself balanced, pressing their entwined hands against his chest.
"There's so much more you need to know," he whispered.
"There's also much more you need to know about me," Heero answered dryly. Duo's lips were so close. He only needed to tilt his head a little to taste them... their faces were only inches apart, and their eyes met again -- on a different, more intense level. What was Duo looking for? What was he, Heero, hoping to find in the other's eyes? Violet, purple, dark blue... shimmering with life, despite the kind of magic he was wielding, vibrant life, beautiful life, and he didn't want to miss a second of it.
The next moment, he had claimed Duo's lips, but this time the Fire mage didn't protest or pull away. Instead, he wrapped both arms around Heero, responding to the kiss with a passion that overwhelmed him, taking his breath away.
"Duo," he murmured his name, hands tightening their grip on him. What did he know about love and relationships? The Darlians' marriage was the only example he ever had, and he had both admired them for their strong, deep bond, based on equality and respect. Heero had seen from Darlian's friends that equality wasn't always taken for granted; a relationship was hard work, but he wanted to try, with Duo, to form an equal strong base with mutual respect, but most of all he wanted Duo to be the other person in the relationship.
"Heero, we can't do this," Duo mumbled in return, but his voice lacked the previous convincing tone, and he pressed himself closer instead of tearing away. "This can't go very well..."
"It can," he insisted, and his hands tightened their grip again, fingers clutching at the heavy, dark red robes. The fabric was too strong to be torn, and he tugged at it. Duo shook his head.
"If you're sure... Heero, I..."
"I know," he said and moved his hands forward, to the buttons at the front. The robes parted, the fabric sliding down along his sides, pooling around his feet. Duo wore light armor underneath it, skin tight black leather, offering the most basic of protection. It was amazing that he wasn't sweating from the heavy robes and the armor. Heero touched some of the buckles.
"You must be feeling so very hot," Heero said. He realized what he had said as soon as the words left his mouth, and Duo started laughing. He hiccupped from laughter, embarrassing Heero who quickly nuzzled Duo, pressing his head against his neck to keep the mage from seeing the red color on his cheeks.
"I liked you from the moment I saw you," Duo whispered, not moving while one by one, the buckles of his tunic were undone. His own fingers darted over Heero's shirt, tugging at the sturdy fabric, pressing and exploring, touch firm, yet gentle. "I knew that one day, my warrior would show up."
"You've been waiting for your warrior?" Heero parroted, sliding the tunic from Duo's shoulders. He wasn't as muscular as Heero, but he would certainly stand his own in a fight; Duo didn't rely only on his magic to survive.
"Waiting... maybe praying," Duo said and now he was the one to turn his head away, suddenly nuzzling Heero, sliding his shirt over his shoulders in return. He nipped at Duo's ear briefly, suddenly catching a small flicker from the corner of his eyes. A necklace dangled from Duo's neck, it looked like silver to Heero. He brought up his hand and touched it -- it was fragile, the chain incredibly small and intricate. Even though he had briefly touched it, Duo moved and put his hand over his -- he didn't want it to be taken off.
"Praying... something special?"
"Praying that I would find life," Duo answered and turned his head. Heero saw that a silver cross was attached to the chain, similar to the cross with the man hanging from it. The mage took his fingers away from it, lifting up his head to press a kiss to Heero's chin.
"Are you really sure you want to do this?"
"Death couldn't keep me away from you," Heero said.
"Please, don't..." Duo's sentence was cut short by another kiss. Heero hoped he wasn't going to say something silly again, but he knew that Duo wouldn't think any less of him. He felt Duo tugging at him, leading him, and he followed, arms still around Duo. He guided him to a velvety, black and purple curtain in the north corner, pushing it to the side. It was the bedroom -- nothing much but a bed and a small chest and a dresser, tucked away in the shadowy corner. Heero already sat down, Duo leaning into him as he kissed his lips, pushing at him. He fell backwards, but Duo prevented him from hitting the granite back wall, slipping into his lap, arms around him again. Returning the movement, Heero leaned over to the side and took Duo with him, rolling over each other on the covers. Duo ended up on top of him, smirking as chestnut bangs obscured his eyes. Heero ruffled his hair, the long braid shifting with every movement and slid over his bare shoulder to dangle in between them.
A little annoyed, Duo threw the rope of hair over his shoulder and kissed Heero.
"Did you ever think of how love was going to look like in your life?"
Heero shook his head, too occupied with the kiss. The Fire mage chuckled again and kissed the tip of his nose.
"I never thought there would be any love in my life."
"After seeing so much death?"
"After seeing so much death," Duo repeated, but his smile didn't turn sad. Before he could continue speaking, Heero put his fingers on his lips -- again.
"I want to be with Duo of Maxwell Church."
"You're here with him," Duo said, Epyon accent clearly audible.
"I want to be with the real Duo of Maxwell Church," Heero repeated, stubbornly. Duo looked at him, puzzled, eyes focused as if piercing through him. He tilted his head curiously, like a small child, before breaking out in another smile, but this one was different... more genuine, more mature.
"You're here with him," he said, voice a little lower, and the accent was gone.
Heero's hands kept wandering over Duo's body, who returned the gestures vividly, fingers stroking and touching, prodding and poking gently.
"You silly thing," Duo said and kissed him again. "So much to learn, so little time. You want to be with me, I want to be with you. Carry on, Heero Yuy of Romefeller country, before I get cold."
Turning around in the small bed, Heero bumped his nose against a cold, granite wall. Growling under his breath, he shivered from the sudden cold influx. This wasn't his bed -- he had a larger one...! He moved a little, finding his feet oddly wrapped tightly in sheets, leaving the rest of his body naked. He felt a little clammy though, and other parts of his body had severely cooled down as well.
He turned around, slightly confused, and gazed at a large cross on the wall, in between the three high church windows, directly above Duo's empty writing desk.
It wasn't hard to figure out in whose room he was, and the very pleasant feeling in his body was unfamiliar, but certainly not unwelcome. Duo wasn't in the bed with him, which was a disappointment -- why did he leave? Heero rolled out of the bed and searched for his clothes.
They were strewn all over the floor, and he traced his shirt back to the chair next to Duo's writing table. The desk was empty but for a few blank sheets of paper, the quill, and the ink pot. Heero assumed Duo had left for something important; he couldn't imagine the Fire mage walking out on him. Didn't they straighten out certain feelings?
After dressing himself, Heero used the water in a golden engraved bowl to clean himself up a little and grabbed the top one of a stack of towels to dry himself off. Curiously, he eyed a small reed basket that was covered with some sort of table linen, and when he lifted it up he had to smile; it contained fresh rolls of bread, still warm. Taking a few of them, he left the room and took the staircase down to search for the others.
A scruffy child told him that 'Duo and the rest' were at the dining hall and he found them perched together at one of the largest tables in the back of the room; only Wufei was absent. Heero joined the group, not missing the saucy wink Duo gave him. Relena sat on the other end of the table, close to Quatre, her hair neatly tied in two braids like Sally Po, and with the midnight blue dress she was wearing, she very much looked like a nature mage herself.
"Some nasty rumors have been spreading around," Duo said. "Merquise has tried to recruit people for the cause of strengthening Khushrenada's army; he only approached the ones with the strongest Healing and Fire abilities. Though Merquise couldn't reach Libra on his own power, we're not totally isolated from news. He's been doing the rounds in Auda and Iria country, as well as Oz and Ventei. He promises in the name of esshouin Khushrenada that anyone who ties himself to his army will have, when proven valuable and eligible, access to a larger library and more studies, and of course, total acceptance of magic."
"In other words, in any country under Khushrenada's command no mage would ever be feared for the sake of magic, not rejected from society, no longer treated with disdain." Quatre frowned. "Though I would love to see that happen in the world, the problem is that it's going to be forced upon the people -- and when forced, people can do strange things. It's never going to work unless people will change their mentality voluntarily."
"It'll be only a paradise for those who already are in power, like Merquise himself." Duo shook his head. "Besides, he's not classified to teach, he hasn't even finished his training here. We all know what he's going to teach -- how to be as destructive as possible, and increase the area of effect of one's dortang... preferably Detonation."
"Khushrenada can make all these things come true?" Relena suddenly asked.
"Yes he can, Princess," Duo answered, "and better than us -- he can promise and deliver, and we can promise but not deliver. Khushrenada has the men, the facilities, and he's the man in charge -- no one's going to go against him, but he can't keep an eye on everyone. How to make everyone obey, however, is a whole other question."
"Libra never imposed any doctrine on anyone -- one is free here to train, to stay, to have an opinion. We don't control them, but we don't make any false promises either. The bonus for Khushrenada is having more Fire mages in his army, which will strengthen his position even more."
"Won't Merquise's own position be in jeopardy when he adds more Fire mages to his army?"
"I don't know -- I think he's a personal friend of Khushrenada."
"He didn't seem all too happy to me."
"Enough about Merquise," Duo said curtly. "He's just a dorshin'esshun, and that will be his downfall. He didn't stay long enough here to learn that there's a hierarchy under mages -- the one with the most experience, not necessarily the most power, will always be higher than a mage without experience, and certainly higher than one who hasn't even finished his training. Experienced mages are respected for their knowledge and what they can teach others. Merquise might be able to offer the facilities, but not the studies as people receive here."
Relena pushed a little at her hair, as if to make sure it was still staying that way. "So, what will be our next step, now that we are in Libra?"
"Going to Sanq, of course," Duo said and she rolled her eyes, but all in a good manner, and she even laughed.
"But first, we have some great news for you, Relena," Quatre beamed.
"Great news? For me?"
"Ah Wufei, there you are," Duo suddenly said and he motioned at the Nataku warrior to come join them. "I don't want to tell this twice."
"What's going on? What great news?"
Duo tapped on the sheets of paper in front of him. "You have a brother, Relena, by the name of Milliardo Peacecraft."
Relena paled. "I have a what?"
"A brother," Duo repeated. "According to these documents, the Peacecraft family was appointed by the Five to be in charge of the Sanq Kingdom. Quatre found a rather detailed genealogical tree, and we traveled the countries, not only in search for the rest of the Five, but also to find the remaining Peacecrafts. Not only we did, but people we trust as well, keeping out an eye for anyone who could possibly fit the description or matched any of the Five." He threw a meaningful look at Heero, who recalled Howard's words when he gave him the sollevar: "Find yourself a priest of Maxwell Church". So, the Romefeller smith had been one to look out for any of the Peacecrafts or the Five as well.
"We could finally track the last living Peacecraft couple down, but they had died before we found them," Duo continued. "Their children, a daughter and a son, were separated and ended up with totally different families. Darlian took you in, Relena, and he might have been looking for your brother as well, but he was nowhere to be found."
"This is ridiculous. I don't have a brother," Relena said. "My father... my father was about to die. He was delirious, he hallucinated," she continued, face still pale. "I love my father, and he would never lie to me -- but this just isn't possible. Never in all the time I've known him, that he raised me, he never mentioned a brother, never mentioned Peacecraft... my father was always there for me! Please, it's just not true. Let it go! He was in a fire, he was in pain, he was dying... the name, the Kingdom...it's all delirious, it's not true!"
"Darlian was a good man," Duo said. "He must have known, Relena. He must have known and believed it somehow -- whatever you want to call it: reincarnation, fate or destiny... but he must have known that the Five were somehow walking this world again. If he knew that, he also must have known that they needed the Princess to bring her back to her home in order to bring about peace in this world."
She swayed in her chair, trying to keep herself upright by holding onto the table. Quatre put a hand on her shoulder to soothe her, but she pursed her lips, almost disapproving, but her look was more meant for Duo than for the nature mage. She stared defiantly at Duo, but remained silent.
"I'm not sure how we can find the Prince; there are absolutely no records of him anywhere." Duo reclined into his chair. He peeked under his long chestnut bangs at Heero, as if to convince himself he was still there. Heero nodded to him, wanting to let the other know that he was still here, in body, spirit and soul. He caught a particular smug look on Quatre's face; he had picked up on the furtive looks back and forth. Trowa and Wufei weren't paying attention to what was happening around the table; the archer had pulled the stack of paper away from Duo and spitted through it, with Wufei looking over his shoulder.
"I have never heard of a Prince of Sanq before, or a Milliardo Peacecraft. There is no family holding that name in all the countries I have ever been to," Wufei said.
"Darlian was smart enough to realize that keeping Relena's original name was a danger in itself. Calling your daughter Peacecraft is like raising a red flag," Quatre objected. "The Prince could be anywhere, under any other name."
"And far out of our reach," Duo sighed. "We managed to find the Princess, but it took us fifteen year... and we had the luck of the Twelve that she was with our warrior."
All heads turned to Heero; they knew his opinion about the Legends of the Five. He shrugged. For Duo's sake, he wanted to believe, but he wasn't convinced about it -- to him, it was more of the same. It was too far-fetched for a person like him to turn out to be a legendary warrior, while he couldn't even read, and he was sure that he wasn't using his weapon to its full potential either.
"So, what will be our next step?" he said, repeating Relena's earlier words. He was already mentally planning on how to find this Prince, or Sanq, when Duo dropped his bomb.
"We're going to Barge country and confront Khushrenada on his own turf."
This time, Relena fell off of her chair, and even Wufei's jaw dropped. Heero had the feeling that Duo had only discussed this with Quatre -- the Nature mage looked grim, his eyes uncharacteristically gloomy. Trowa raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips just as disapprovingly as Relena had done.
Duo reached for Relena to help her up, but she batted his hand away with surprising strength.
"Are you mad?" she hissed. "You can't possibly think that... that confronting Khushrenada is a good idea!"
"We don't have much choice, Princess," Duo said.
"People will die when you go to war," she shot back. "Fighting leads to killing, leads to death! When will this all end?"
"Ironically, when Khushrenada is dead," Wufei provided the answer. "Take out the main reason for the current war and it will end."
"He has a lot of people in command after him," Trowa objected. "Killing Khushrenada will not immediately solve everything. If his army disintegrates from the lack of a leader, the whole world will turn into a fire zone. Not everyone will return to his homeland, and traditions and bonds have been broken because of the war."
"That's why we need to find the Kingdom of Sanq," Duo insisted.
"Duo, not even that can change the people's hearts in a second," Quatre said. "Not many know of the Kingdom in the first place, why should they instantly believe in hope and peace if we manage to uncover it? Maybe history will repeat itself, and the Kingdom never meant to be found again."
"We talked about this," Duo said, and his voice was low, clipping every word. "We talked about this, Quatre Raberba Winner, and you agreed with me that the Kingdom exists, and that we needed to find it again!"
"I have never denied the existence of the Kingdom, Duo of Maxwell Church," Quatre returned sharply. "If the legends about the Kingdom are true, yes, than I wholeheartedly agree that it should be found again! Yet, we have to be realistic -- we can't spend another fifteen years traveling around to find the Prince, or the Kingdom in itself. Khushrenada is stronger and more powerful than us at the moment, and we are with the five of us."
"The Five," Duo shot back.
"Legends," Relena said softly.
"Supposedly legends," Trowa said out loud and Duo threw him a murderous look. The next moment, he shoved his seat backwards, standing up, and the flames on his robe seemed to engulf him, the colors more vibrant and deceptive than ever. He stared at the group, just for a moment, before turning around and stalking away. His soft leather boots didn't make a sound on the tiled floor, but his robes flared dramatically behind him and everyone went quickly out of his way.
Quatre slumped in his chair. Relena tugged at her hairdo, her fingers entwining the strands.
"How much chance do we have?" Heero asked.
"How much chance at what?"
"At carrying out Duo's plans successfully."
Wufei snorted. "Maxwell can't plan. He has an idea, thinks his idea is the greatest thing to happen to this world since early sunrise and goes to execute it his own style: improvise without a solid back-up plan."
"We can back him up," Heero said, determined. Relena reached for him to put a hand on his arm.
"I don't want you to fight. I don't want anyone to fight. I don't want people to die."
"We cannot write a note to Khushrenada and ask him to sit down and have tea with us," Wufei said. "I agree with Duo that we attack him on his own turf. If we do not stop him, no one will. Legends or not, I can take out a man single-handedly. Khushrenada is not a God. He will die from an arrow or a spell just as easily as any other man."
"It's horrible," Relena shuddered.
"What, Khushrenada dying?"
Heero had never seen Wufei this fierce before, and eyed him quizzically. Did he show the same anger when talking about Khushrenada? It was because of the usurper's doing that Wufei's homeland was destroyed and his people wiped out... and it was because of Khushrenada that Darlian had died, and that many other good people had died in the name of war.
"No man should die," Relena repeated. "We must show the people that we can solve this without weapons, without going to a war."
"There already is a war," Wufei objected, voice heated.
"And it should be stopped, now," Relena said, her voice holding the same ferocity. "What good will it do us, when people end up dying? If you truly are the Legends, if I truly am a Princess, then it's our job to set the example -- to show everyone that we can do this without violence."
"Are you going to beat Khushrenada to death with nice speeches?"
"Enough, Wufei," Quatre intervened. "Relena, I'm the first one to disapprove of violence, and I would like to see everything return to the way it was... without war, without fighting."
"The problem is that Khushrenada has gone too far," Trowa took over from him. "He'll never give up the lands he already conquered, the power he already gained. He won't give that up for anything."
"There must be another solution," Relena insisted, "a solution that works for everyone, that can restore this world..."
"The Kingdom of Sanq," Quatre sighed. "If Duo is right and we can resurrect said Kingdom, it will bring peace and hope back into the world."
"We're just with us five," Heero reminded him. "We might be special, the Five, but there's still just the five of us."
A silence fell. Relena bit her lip.
"There must be something we can do..."
"There is," Heero said. "We can either follow Duo's plan or come up with an alternative. Raising an army on our own would take too much time and too much bloodshed -- confronting Khushrenada personally, on his own turf, will be for the better."
"And what if you manage to kill him," Quatre said. "There would still be his second-in-command, Merquise, his whole army to deal with. Taking him out doesn't solve things in a snap."
"You can rehash this as many times as you want," Heero answered stiffly and rose from his chair. "Excuse me, I have to talk to someone."
"Heero," Quatre called out. "We..."
"Must think of a plan," he finished the Nature mage's sentence. "Whatever the plan will be, I'll follow Duo." To the end of the world, he thought, but decided not to speak it out loud. He grabbed the sollevar next to him and stalked away from the table. Relena and Quatre could chitchat about peace all they want; at least Trowa and Wufei seemed to understand the necessity of fighting, and that people would die. No peace would be obtained without sacrifice... and though Heero was sure Relena would take on whatever sacrifice there would be needed, he doubted that she really understood it. It was easy to say that she didn't want any fighting, it wasn't like he was looking forward to die in a battle -- but his warrior's blood had stirred, Legend or not, and Heero was determined to be the one to end Khushrenada's life. For all that he had done.
He set out to find Duo, and he already had a good idea where the Fire mage would be. His instinct proved him right. He was at the outer south wall, staring at the commemorative plaque. His eyes weren't sparkling or shining with any mirth; his lips moved in either a silent prayer or he was reading the names on the plaque without as much of a sound. Heero waited to approach him until Duo was done; he was fairly sure that the other had already noticed him.
"Strange, huh?"
He walked up to Duo as soon as he started talking. Heero had never really been a touchy-feely kind of person, but put his hand on Duo's shoulder anyway; he felt that the other needed it. Duo didn't look at him, but his facial features softened a little.
"Strange what?"
"Strange how things can change, and how people can judge a situation differently." "Quatre, you mean?"
"No, in general. I've talked to Quatre a million time about this... well, he doesn't like leaving Libra behind. I don't like it either, but sitting here and doing nothing won't help us. Khushrenada can launch an attack on us anytime now, and though I'm convinced we can fend him off, we can't stand our ground forever."
Heero mulled over his words. He saw the necessity to keep moving, certainly if they wanted to find that illusive Kingdom, but Libra felt like a veritable sanctuary, and he would hate for it to fall into enemy hands. Duo's eyes were fixed on the blackened plaque, his lips not showing his usual smile.
"Sister Helen and Father Maxwell, right?"
"Yes," Duo answered. "They were my family."
"Your parents?"
The mage shrugged. "I'm an orphan. I used to steal everything: food, clothes, valuables so I could sell them -- I was part of a gang, we shared our profits, and told each other about the best places for shelter."
"I'm an orphan too," Heero said. "Until Darlian took me in."
"Father Maxwell took us all in. He said there was room enough in the church for everyone. We were curious, of course -- we never met someone before who offered us a place to stay. So we went into the church, and there we met Sister Helen."
A fond smile finally tugged at the corner of his lips, and his hand went to the thick braid, tugging lightly at it. "She taught me to braid my hair."
Heero had to think about Relena and her mother. Esshava Darlian had been a little distant, but kind nonetheless -- she had welcomed Heero in her home just as her husband and daughter had done. She hadn't deserved to die in that terrible fire; for some reason, he could only remember her eyes, calm and accepting eyes.
Duo turned a little towards him, bringing up his hand to put it over his; his smile had waned, and he looked pensive.
"It wasn't Khushrenada who killed them. It was me."
Heero took a step closer, his fingers tightening their grip. Duo wouldn't probably feel it through the heavy fabric of his robes, but he tightened his grip on Heero's hand as well.
"What do you mean by that?"
"The church was also an orphanage," he said. "The whole gang was taken in, and any other orphan who needed shelter -- some stayed, some disappeared, some were adopted... but not me. I don't know why, and I don't care; I liked staying with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, and I thought their teachings were very interesting. When Khushrenada appeared on our doorstep with his army, I rebelled; I would do anything to keep the church safe."
He heaved a sigh. "I was too late. I was out that night, stealing a weapon that I could use against Khushrenada and his army, and when I got back..." He suddenly chuckled, but there was no amusement to it. "All that was left for me were the ruins... I could do nothing but to try to rebuild, try to establish the same kind of sanctuary for those who needed it. Irony would hit me in the face once more when Merquise came to us to train his power, only for me to find out later he had joined forces with Khushrenada."
"You aren't responsible for the choices people make," Heero said.
"Maybe not, but I gave them everything on a silver platter," Duo answered, bitterness coloring his voice. "The reason why I can't find life is that I'm already dead inside -- from all the mistakes I made, from the pain and the hurt that I caused --"
"Nonsense!" Heero almost yelled, and took Duo in a forceful embrace, arms sliding around his shoulders to press him closer. "You're not dead! You're the liveliest person I've ever seen, and..." You're mine. "... you're not dead. You're not dead..."
Duo put his head against Heero's shoulder, returning the embrace, albeit with lesser force.
"You know what I chose for. You know what I chose to do..."
"I made a choice too. I want to kill Khushrenada just as much as you do... but I want to stay with you."
"You can't."
"Quit it, Duo."
"Don't be so stubborn."
"I said, quit it. Self-pity won't get you anywhere, and that's not like the Duo I know."
A smothered, short laugh. "You hardly know me."
"I know enough about you."
Duo fell silent. Trying to press himself even closer, his hands tightened their grip on Heero's shirt, knuckles pressing against his back.
"I don't know if I'm making the right decision."
"I don't either, Duo."
"Well, at least you don't sugarcoat anything."
Now it was Heero's turn to chuckle, albeit shortly. "Brutally honest, isn't that what they call it?"
"Brutally honest," Duo murmured. "And that's what I like so much about you."
Heero tilted his head a little to scent Duo's hair. "I like your openheartedness."
"I like your straightforwardness."
"Is that even a word?"
"Who cares... thank you."
"For what?"
"For just being here. And for believing."
Heero didn't reply to that. He believed he was truly in love with Duo, and loved many of his qualities -- but his unwavering belief in the Kingdom of Sanq was something he didn't share. He would believe in it for Duo's sake, he would even believe to be one of the legendary Five, but everything else left him filled with skepticism. Pressing a soft kiss to Duo's head, they remained standing for a long time, until the sun was setting.
Chapter 9 | Chapter 11 |