From the memories, his memories, they had recovered so far, they knew he had been a Pharaoh, the ruler of one of Earth's greatest nations in their glory days, a son of the Gods, no, God personified.
He had been one to govern a nation, rule a country, the head of the Priests and their Council, the one responsible for the wellbeing of his people. A heavy duty and an obligation weighing on his shoulders like a ton- and even though he wasn't a Pharaoh in these days, whatever era this was, the one called mou hitori no Yuugi for lack of his real name- forgotten along with the rest of his memories, still undiscovered-, still felt it.
The responsibility. The pressure. Gaming was his life, and duelling had brought him far in finding a great part of his memories, helped along the way by his friends. Still, he felt their eyes on him, some in adoration, some in fear, some in hope, and some in...the everlasting way of expectation. They expected him to know the answer, to know the solution, to know everything to make things right.
He didn't. He didn't know the answer. Solving a riddle was easy- his quick mind and intellect enabled him to see through the most difficult riddles and puzzles, enabled him to win his duels, that and his unholy luck and his own belief. Sometimes those eyes were too much. Loving, large, blue eyes. Trusting, believing, brown eyes. Adoring, faithful, wide, purple eyes. He couldn’t always stand the look in those wide purple eyes with the blind trust and hope.
A son of the Gods, placed on a pedestal and out of reach of everyone else. They didn't do it on purpose, and maybe it was his own fault, but he failed in connecting to them, a distance as an invisible wall between them, and a fragile web between him and his vessel- no, Yuugi, Mutou Yuugi. He was the one to solve the Sennen Puzzle and he deserved all the best in this world- something he couldn't give him.
The Shadow Realm was a world of magic and it was almost relieving to be there instead of the modern world. There weren't any eyes here, nobody expected anything of him here, he could be himself here...if he knew who he was. Without his name, who was he really? Just a Pharaoh, but was he a just and fair ruler, or was he a bad or tyrannical one? Everyone would tell him he had justice on his side, and how sad it was that he didn't have his memories anymore. Yuugi would comfort him and look at him with those trusting eyes and repeat that everything would be all right.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. Sometimes he cared, sometimes he didn't. When he was in the Shadow Realm, wandering around, looking for himself, a memory, whatever- he knew the other was there too. His most loyal servant, the one he could count on, forever and always. He wouldn't speak, simply because he couldn't, and his eyes were cold, as he simply was portrayed that way and that was the way he would come alive- rendered by the magic of the Shadow Realm, using his own magic, crossing boundaries and breaking every law. The Dark Magician only needed one thought to appear by his side and move his arms around him. Even though he would always shiver from the first touch- the Shadow Realm always felt cold and the armour of the Dark Magician was almost freezing, he'd forget it immediately anyway.
In his arms, he could be whatever he wanted. A small child, looking for his lost father, or an insecure teen doubting his actions, not knowing which direction to take. He could put away the strain, the pressure, the responsibility for a while, and enjoy the comfort of being held without being judged, without being forced to answer, without justifying every movement. The Dark Magician would look at him and he would miss the smouldering fire behind the pale blue eyes, and the magician would smile and he would miss it again. He would miss it, as his eyes were closed as his breathing became more erratic, as long and slender fingers would discard his clothing and, after the initial cold touch, would warm his skin with the slightest of caresses.
The son of the Gods would scream where the other couldn't utter a voice, bodies entangled, magic and fantasy entwining, boundaries disappearing. The Dark Magician would cry behind his emotionless face where the other couldn't, reality fading, dreams and hopes shattering and clouding, legs clenched, movements frantic, pleasure surpassing their emotions.
As the last of the screams and the last of the tears would die and slip away, they would return to their respective worlds, concealing where they had been and reverting back to what they always had been- Pharaoh and Priest, Master and Monster, Loved and Lover. Whatever they felt- loneliness, sadness, faint hope and joy- they concealed it with words and actions, deluding themselves and believing that one day, really one day, everything would be all right.