Pairing: implied Yuugi & Yami no Yuugi
Rating: G
Theme #5: Tinsel
Disclaimer: Yuugiou is copyrighted to Takahashi Kazuki.
It lies right in front of me. It's gold, it's large, and it's rather heavy, though I find the weight comforting. I can't imagine a day without carrying it around, I can't imagine a day without it dangling from my neck. It's the Sennen Puzzle, a holy Item whose creation remains a mystery to me. My grandfather gave it to me, and it took me eight years to assemble it. When I put in the last piece, lying on the floor as I had been knocked down and beaten by the school bully, Ushio, I only wished for one thing. Friends.
You came with the Puzzle. How did you know how to emerge, when to rush to my side, and come to my aid? You were there, suddenly, and you overtook my soul, merging it, morphing into something other than me- an improved version of yourself, or did you pick out the character traits you want to see reflected in me? I'm not mad at you. On the contrary. No, not mad at you at all. You changed my life, you brought me friends, you are my friend. I can see you, I can see right through you, because you're a spirit, a former Pharaoh, who gave his life for his nation and people to seal the darkness away. Maybe you'll leave me one day, maybe you'll stay. Whatever it is that you decide, I've learned a lot from you. I know I have a somewhat naive look at things, and that I'm too trusting sometimes. It's just that I can't muster up the energy to look at things in a dark, pessimistic way. I don't want to keep up an attitude that is distrusting, or a look that assumes the worst rather than the best. If there's someone who needs my help, even though he turned his back on me a mere second before, I'll extend my hand and give help. That's who I am.
I think I'm still me, though. I know there are bad things and darkness and hatred in the world. I'm not stupid or dumb. I'm not blind to certain feelings, but I chose to deal with those feelings, instead of ignoring or harbouring them. Your crimson eyes are hard and tough to decipher, but I can read them. I see how you're looking with them, and I know what you're expressing with them. I know you, other me, mou hitori no boku. Losing your memories, not knowing your name, it must be hard for you. I'm here for you, just as you were there for me. Trust me, we're partners, remember?
I need you. I need you to show me where my strength is. I need you to show me who I am- I know who I am, but I need you to show it to me. I think I'm rather lost without you, until I learned how to deal on my own. It feels like you've always been in my life, a warm presence inside my head, cradling my mind, whispering in my ear reassuringly. I know you want the best for me, I know you're protective of me, not because of me being your vessel, your way of interaction with this world unknown to you, but for who I am. I know you like me, and I like you too. I don't think you realize it, but you're pretty easy to read when it's about me.
Gold is a soft precious metal. It can be easily dented, and I wonder how it doesn't show anything of all the times it has been yanked, dropped, tumbling down. Maybe something is protecting it, as there's already so much magic that nothing really surprises me any more. It's heavy, especially with the fairly large chain, but we both found out that a piece of rope wasn't the right way to tie it around our...my neck. I'm still me, even though I'm wondering if I'm losing myself in you. How much are we alike, and how much are we different? You like gold, you like to wear the Puzzle, you walk with your back and shoulders straightened, the wind ruffling your hair. Alive, and yet not. It makes me feel sad for you- something I never show, because you don't like being pitied. You're dead...it's simple as that and it makes me even more sad. You don't have a body, you're not really real.
I wish I could hold you in my arms. Solid, a warm, responding body. I wish you could wrap your arms around me too, and smile at me before kissing me. It's not fair that this can't be real, it's like a curtain between us, that one of us carefully pulls out of the way before entering the real world. Which one is it today? A former Pharaoh, walking with the regal pace, posture composed, voice commanding and gaze stern, or a small high school kid, slouching, with the higher voice and drowned out by the masses? Whenever I voice this to you, you smile and shake your head, and start telling me about confidence, about self-esteem, about value and worth. I can easily mouth the words, but I don't because I like to hear your voice. I like to see you, I like to hear you, I like you to be real and warm and...needing me.
We never talk about that. Need. Your eyes show me compassion and something akin to understanding, but it's sometimes sadness and pity as well. Do you pity me, mou hitori no boku? You think you know everything about me, and sometimes you can be pretty harsh in your judgement. I'm not that naive to know there’s a whole big, bad world outside. I know the difference between fake and real, and it's just my nature to give anyone a second chance, and to trust and have faith in the goodness of mankind.
Reaching for the puzzle, my fingers curl around the thick chain. It symbolises our bond- we’re bound to each other, the second I put the last piece of the Puzzle in. If you think too much about it, it only boggles the mind- to be brought back to life again after three millennia, or at least conscious enough to be alive, getting thrown into an unknown world, thrown into my body. Yes, I'm your host, your vessel, but I'm also your friend, your partner. It's not for nothing you refer to me as 'aibou'. I don't think I’ve ever heard you calling me by my name. Mutou Yuugi. I'm here for you, you know that. Always.
The chain goes around my neck, and I notice my other hand cups the Puzzle. It's dear to me, and its value in pure gold would be astounding as its historic significance, but I don't care about that. It's your home, and I'll carry it with me as long as it's given to me. One day, our roads will part, and before that day comes, I want to talk to you, see you, and hear you often- if only to let you know that thanks to you, I've grown and seen where my strength lies, but I still need you. I know about the real world and that not everything is pure gold and beauty...there are lots of frills, tinsel, decorations that are used to mask, to cover real intentions. I just want you by my side.
That is all.
That is all.